


The American Lieutenant's Man

by mcgarrygirl78



Category: Law & Order: SVU
Genre: Drama, Episode: s17e04 Institutional Fail, F/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-10
Updated: 2015-10-10
Packaged: 2018-04-25 16:23:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,654
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4967926
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“So we just fall out of love…do you really think it would be that simple?”</p>
            </blockquote>





	The American Lieutenant's Man

“Dodds is putting a mole in my unit.” Olivia took the last roasted potato from Rafael’s plate.

“Isn't the point of a mole to be secretive?”

“Oh he wants me to know. He smiled in my face when he told me.”

“I don’t like the way he smiles at you.” Rafael made an annoyed face. “I've never liked the way he looks at you. I've kept it to myself but since we’re on the subject…”

“Counselor, I need you to focus.”

“I'm focused.”

“Are you sure?” she asked.

“I'm an intelligent man…I can listen to you and be angry about him at the same time.”

“I feel really uncomfortable about this.”

“Ditto. Do you think this is about us?”

Olivia thought it was about a lot of things, one of them being the close relationship between her and Rafael Barba. Dodds said it himself, I know you two are close. She brushed it off but didn’t like the implication. She had been close to Alex Cabot, Casey Novak, and several other ADAs over their time in SVU. When you work with someone every day, you get to know each other. 

If you were human that’s what you did. To assume she might be closer to Barba in other ways didn’t sit well with her. Olivia got where she was in the NYPD on merit alone. Merit, hard ass work, and plenty of sacrifice. She didn’t need a man to protect her or fuck her so she could make weight. 

That bothered some men. Maybe Dodds was one of them. She dealt with him because she had to. It might be time to put more thought into what their relationship was and how it related to things he said to her. He was always encouraging her to play along. Just what kind of game did he think this was?

“I think it’s about a lot of things.”

“Talk to me, Liv.” Rafael went to put his hand on top of hers but rethought it. 

He was upset with himself for doing so but all the talk of moles made him nervous. This was one of their places, he never stopped to think that someone could be watching them and had been for a long time. The ADA wasn’t a conspiracy theorist. But the atmosphere within the police department and the DA’s office was very political at the moment. 

It always was, though they usually kept it under the wraps of being earnest civil servants. These days hardly anything was kept under wraps. And with Hank Abraham now gunning for Barba, Dodds was not one of the good guys. He never really had been but he certainly wasn’t now.

“Fin said sorry to interrupt your date and I can't shake that. It happened weeks ago, the night we found Bruno, and I haven’t been able to shake it off. I know he didn’t mean anything by it but it made me feel skanky.”

“Your date?” he raised an eyebrow.

“I went with Dodds to that rubber chicken dinner for the FOP. It wasn’t a date, it was politics and I didn’t like a single minute of it. It was work.”

“Yeah, I think I would’ve gotten the memo that you were dating someone else.” Rafael nodded. “For the record, being involved with him would be just as much, if not more, of a conflict of interest as being involved with me.”

“Surely not in his mind. The winner never feels the need to check their privileges.” Olivia smirked. “If I was a man we wouldn’t even be having this conversation.”

“I’d still be in love with you, have no doubt about that.”

“I don’t, but Dodds would probably not think to use any potential sexual relationship against us.”

“We knew something like this might eventually come up.” Rafael said. “Do you want to…?”

“You better not say what I think you're going to say.” Olivia finished her beer. 

She didn’t want to be here, didn’t want to be having this conversation. This last case was hard and it took a lot out of all of them. Rollins was officially on desk duty now so they had even less detectives than before. Even with little Dodds coming in, they would still be a man down. And despite the glowing recommendations of his father, Olivia knew she would be working with a sex crimes amateur. She was still correcting Carisi’s rookie mistakes…she didn’t have time for this.

“I don’t want to say it, Liv, but we promised to keep our feet on the ground. This is me, keeping my feet on the ground.”

“So we just fall out of love…do you really think it would be that simple?”

“It would be agony.” Rafael replied. “Also, impossible.”

“Exactly.” She wanted to touch him so badly but thought someone could be watching. This was one of their places; one of the many bars and restaurants around Manhattan that the sergeant and ADA would set up shop and just talk. No one thought twice about it because they worked together. Now everything was under possible microscopic scrutiny. “Tú eres mi luz*, Rafael.”

“Te adoro siempre**.” He slipped his hand under the table and rubbed her thigh. 

Olivia smiled, reaching down to put her hand on top of his. She closed her eyes, mouth slightly opened, and exhaled. Damn, it was just a touch but it was the strength they both needed to get through the rest of the conversation. Give this up, there was no way in hell.

“We do what we always do.” Olivia said. She sighed, removing her hand and getting her bearings. “We continue to work, we stay above board, and we keep our personal lives very personal.”

“So nothing changes?”

“No.” Olivia shook her head. “Can we get out of here?”

“Do you want to leave separately?” Rafael asked. 

It was an insane question but he needed to put it on the table. If they were being watched it would be a matter of minutes before they were exposed. Rafael didn’t think they were but also knew it wasn’t above Dodds. He was trying to repress the parts of him that said this was more than professional, political. 

Olivia was a damn good cop, deserved every promotion and accolade that she ever received. She was also a beautiful, and assumedly, single woman. Rafael didn’t have numbers but it would be naïve to think that no man, higher, lower, or right beside her, hadn’t tried to get her in bed. It shouldn’t have to be something she worried about. He knew damn well that it was.

“I want to leave with my arms wrapped around you and not give a damn who sees.” Liv whispered.

“You're sweet.”

“Let's get the check; we’re leaving together. We’re sharing a cab and going back to your condo where we’ll hug Noah and then go to bed and make love. If someone is watching then they’ll get a show tonight.”

“You're sexy when you're angry, Sergeant Benson.”

“Lieutenant.” She said.

“I'm sorry?” Rafael held up his hand for the check.

“I passed the test.”

“Liv!” he looked at her. Oh for the love of God why couldn’t he touch her? “Liv…mi amor. We should’ve been celebrating. This is fantastic news.”

“We will, at home.”

“You should’ve told me as soon as you found out.”

“I just found out tonight.” She said. “Dodds came to congratulate me before dropping the anvil on my head about his son.”

“I'm so proud of you.” He put his hand over his heart.

In just the three years that they'd known each other, Olivia had been promoted twice. She was on her way to the very top. Rafael loved basking in the warmth of her light. She was a brilliant and hard working woman. Liv never let her passion for the job or her advocacy for the victims wane. 

She was about to be swimming in seriously shark infested waters but he knew she could handle it. Her promotion was a very good thing for the 16th precinct. Rafael didn’t know how Dodds’ kid was going to fit into the mix but at least Olivia would still be in charge. They would live to fight the good fight for another day.

“I'm paying.” She took the check when it came.

“It’s your special night.” Rafael protested.

“My special night hasn’t quite begun, Counselor.”

“My interest is piqued.”

“I have a little bag at home and my celebration surprise is in there.” Olivia took three twenties from her purse and slipped them into the check book. “There's a little something for both of us.”

“I love surprises.” He smiled. “I hate surprises.”

“Oh, don’t worry.” She slipped out of the booth, putting her purse on her shoulder. “I know you very well and this will make you happy. Your happiness is my happiness.”

Olivia turned and started to walk toward the door. She didn’t have to look behind her, she knew Rafael was there. Storms were brewing overhead and she wasn’t really sure what was going to happen. One thing was for sure, she wasn’t giving this up. There were times when Olivia wondered if having it all was possible or even more than a fairy tale. 

With Noah and Rafael and her promotion, she knew that it was. No man in her position would be asked to give up a thing. Yes, it was a conflict of interest to date her ADA. Liv never lost any sleep over it. 

Sharing a bed or not, where work was involved she and her lover were usually on the same page. The times when they weren't, they were able to leave the issues at Centre Street where they belonged. Another battle would be waiting for them tomorrow; that train was never late. There were plenty of hours still left in the night to make good memories.

***

**Author's Note:**

> *You are my light.  
> **I adore you always.


End file.
